More Than One Story: How Narrative Therapy Helps Us Hold Space for Life's Many Facets
By a Counsellor Who’s Learning Alongside You :)
There are times in life when one experience can feel so dominant, it overshadows everything else. Painful breakups. Work struggles. Health challenges. Family conflict. In these moments, our brains, doing what they were built to do, zero in on the danger, the discomfort, the problem. And that experience can begin to feel like the story of our lives.
But narrative therapy invites us to pause. To notice. To ask: “Is this the only story I’m living right now?”
One approach I’ve always found deeply moving comes from a narrative therapy exercise shared in research about teenagers struggling with their weight. These young people, overwhelmed by negative self-image and emotions, were asked to draw a simple outline of themselves, just a body on a page. Inside this outline, they wrote down everything they did over a typical week.
Then, they were given a highlighter and asked to mark the activities that weren’t significantly impacted by their weight.
Things like:
Being good at violin lessons.
Getting praise in maths class.
Laughing with friends who cared about them.
Going on weekend getaways with family.
The goal wasn’t to dismiss their pain or deny the challenges they faced with body image. It was to widen the lens. To show them that while weight was one part of their experience, it wasn’t every part. Their lives were full of moments where their weight wasn’t in the driver’s seat. There was still joy. Still connection. Still accomplishment. Still them.
This exercise has stayed with me for years. And lately, I’ve been returning to it in my own life.
When I’m facing something hard, I try to ask myself: “What else is true right now?”
Even in pain, I can still enjoy my morning Yin yoga and hot chocolate ritual.
Even when things feel uncertain, I can still have a deep laugh with a friend.
Even when one area feels stuck, another might be growing.
Narrative therapy reminds us that we are multi-storied people. Our lives are layered, complex, and dynamic. No one experience, no matter how heavy, can ever fully define who we are. There is always more to the story.
So if you’re in a hard place right now, perhaps you can take a moment today to write the fullness of your week. Then highlight what’s still okay. Still beautiful. Still you.
We are not one story.
We are a tapestry of many.
And that truth can hold us with balance, compassion, and hope, even on the hardest days.
Kelly Perry
BAppSc, PostgradCertBusAdmin, PostgradCertPolSt, DipCounselling
