Outplay Your Inner Critic
We all have an inner critic. That little voice can be especially loud when triggered.
This inner voice can impact our confidence and self-worth. It can be there when you wake up, when you go to sleep, and sometimes echoes throughout the day.
Let’s be honest—it’s not easy to quieten this inner critic. Even with years of studying counselling and behaviour change, I’ve found myself grappling with it too. Professional help made a difference for me, together with combining techniques I’d studied and personal strategies.
Why Fighting the Inner Critic Doesn’t Work
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) suggests it takes too much energy to fight the inner critic. Instead, ACT encourages focusing on your values (what’s meaningful to you) and taking action toward them. While this is an empowering approach, it can feel impossible to follow your values if the critic has destroyed your confidence.
One Technique I Use - The Power of a Stronger Voice
Imagine standing your inner critic next to someone you deeply connect with, someone whose belief in you is unwavering. This could be a grandparent who always encouraged you, a close friend who lifts you up, or even a spiritual belief that offers strength and guidance.
The goal isn’t to fight the inner critic directly but to let this more powerful, positive voice take centre stage. When the critic says, “You’re not good enough,” this supportive voice counters, “You are capable, and I’m here to support you.”
Why Confidence Can Be Elusive
Sometimes, even glowing compliments from others aren’t enough to silence the critic. That’s because the critic draws its strength from deep, old wounds—one where we felt deeply hurt and often less powerful. That is why sometimes our own self belief can not override the inner critic, because our sense of self and confidence at that stage of our lives was less powerful.
To outplay the inner critic, we need a voice stronger than the critic was at its loudest. A supportive voice to go with yours. This voice becomes your guide, reminding you of your worth and providing the confidence to act in alignment with your values.
How to Strengthen Your Inner Supporter
Identify Your Powerful Voice
Who or what inspires you to believe in yourself? It could be a person in your real life, or a person who has passed away but was your biggest supporter, a mentor, a higher power or even a strong belief or cause.Draw from Their Strength
When required, think about what this person or belief would want you to do. What supportive words would they offer?Lean on Their Perspective
When your inner critic starts up, shift your focus to this voice. Imagine them standing beside you, gently but firmly reminding you of your capabilities.Practice Self-Compassion
Recognise that your inner critic isn’t your fault—it’s an echo of the past. Allow yourself the grace to lean on external strength while you rebuild your inner voice.
Outplaying, Not Outshouting
The next time your inner critic tries to overpower you, remind yourself: this voice isn’t the ultimate authority. By aligning with a stronger, supportive voice, you can move forward with the confidence to pursue what truly matters to you.
